options: take care of propertly updating options on runtime changes

All option write accesses are now put through the property interface,
which means runtime option value verification and runtime updates are
applied. This is done even for command line arguments and config files.

This has many subtle and not-so-subtle consequences. The potential for
unintended and intended subtle or not-subtle behavior changes is very
large.

Architecturally, this is us literally jumping through hoops. It really
should work the other way around, with options being able to have
callbacks for value verification and applying runtime updates. But this
would require rewriting the entirety of command.c. This change is more
practical, and if anything will at least allow incremental changes.

Some options are too incompatible for this to work - these are excluded
with an explicit blacklist.

This change fixes many issues caused by the mismatch between properties
and options. For example, this fixes #3281.

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